Spying on Student Council

You have just been captured spying on a student council meeting, and you face dreadful consequences. You are told: "You may make one statement. If it is true, you will be dumped into a trash can in the cafeteria during the second lunch hour. If it is false, you will hang by your feet from the home basketball net during halftime of the varsity game this weekend." What can your statement be so that you can save yourself from both of these terrifying fates?